I am a nobody

It’s been a while since I have written anything from scratch. In the age we live in, generating a series of words that mean something is not that difficult. But the ability to really tell a story, in your own way, is still not the forte of copper wires and NVIDIA GPUs. So yeah, I kept thinking about what would be fitting to write. And since I’ve used this phrase multiple times over the past few days, it made sense to write about how the imposter syndrome might never go away.

Let me take you back three decades.

I grew up in a small, quiet village near Udupi. I got lucky to have a family that painstakingly sacrificed to ensure I went to the best school around. Well, I made sure I learnt one thing well. Language. I picked up English and was enamoured by it. Again, luck, right? I did not know what it would help me with, but I knew I had to be better than my peers at communicating. I remember fiercely competing in debates, essay competitions, and group discussions. I enjoyed it, got better at it. To all that follows, I credit this initial opportunity to learn—and to make mistakes.

Schooling and Plus 2 was a ticket to Bangalore. The goal was simple: get into the best engineering college, and then get into the best company I could spot. Throughout, the only chase in life was to be around the best in the country—their skills, their talent, their ability. I was always hoping some of it would brush off on me. And perhaps it did.

Engineering introduced me to people who were exponentially smarter than me. And my first job at D.E. Shaw did not disappoint either. I kept meeting people who were exceptional at everything in life. Someone excelled at coding, someone at sports, and someone at music. All the while, I kept working on my communication. I was not really great at it. But I kept at it.

We are now in 2017.

An interest in capital markets got me thinking I need a way to build credentials. Again, language to the rescue. I got into the MBA program in Calgary, the cleanest, coldest city on earth. Well, not much changed except latitude, longitude, and sub-zero temperatures. I kept meeting smart people along the way, and once again, language kept helping me. I was able to work with Canadians, learning their culture and way of thinking. But through the freezing winters, I knew the magnetic pull of home was too strong. I was coming back to India to build a career.

It is now 2020. I am back.

Nithin was kind enough to take a blind bet on me. I was someone he had never met in person, but he wanted me to come work with him to help startups we were backing through Rainmatter. I still don’t know why he took that gamble. But he did. Luck.

It’s been a few years now. I help Zerodha with private investments, work with founders with whatever they seek, and help our teams manage day-to-day operations. Through all of this, the only thing I think of is: how did we all end up doing what we do on a daily basis?

If not for my schooling, if not for learning English early on in that small village, I would not be where I am today.

So when I say I am a “nobody,” I don’t say it with insecurity. I say it with gratitude. I am simply a collection of other people’s bets, sacrifices, and a massive amount of luck.